Crossroad

Litany Esguerra

6/30/2018

Title: Crossroad

This week was frustrating in a variety of ways. At my internship, I found myself learning more in-depth about subminimum wage law that made feel disappointed about the current situation even more. I watched an expose on a sheltered workshop and legitimately had to stop watching the video because of how angry I was. I also participated in other events that also reflected on other unjust and unsolved issues in the world. On Friday, I attended the vigil outside of the Supreme Court about ending the death penalty, which has been an ongoing issue in history. I also attended the Families Belong Together protest/march right by the White House in LaFayette Park and listened to the emotional stories of the family separations.

These stories have made me felt as if I’m just learning things and absorbing information on issues that may or may not ever change. It reminds me that there are a lot of limitations in place about what I could personally do in this internship. It also means that there have already been so many limitations in place by people that could actually do something. This is similar to my time in India, a time that spurred my desire to pursue social justice work. While in India, I saw many disheartening situations all around me. From visiting the slums, to walking through extremely overcrowded hospitals, to talking with the mother of a malnourished child, I could only feel helpless from this point of view. My academic director had to remind us repeatedly that as students, we were there to learn and to understand the situation at-hand. We were not supposed to be “a savior of change,” but to take this knowledge to find ways to create change later on. And now, I’m realizing that that is where things are confusing about what I can and cannot do at this point. I’m not necessarily a student anymore, but I do value knowledge and how learning is the starting point before change. But I do have to realize that I am an intern who is still trying to gain experience, with a greater purpose and calling in mind for social justice work. It’s as if I am at the crossroad but not able to turn towards any direction just yet.

Relating this to the Friday seminar, which investigated the deeper meanings of the parable of the Good Samaritan in terms of social justice, also demonstrates this interesting crossroad position for me. What if I was the Good Samaritan who wanted to help the injured man? What if I was the Priest or the Levite that passed the man on the road? What if I wasn’t refusing to help the man, but just simply had no means to do so? Right now, I am limited financially to pay for the expenses that would help nurse the man back to health. I might want to be the Good Samaritan but I had to be the Priest or the Levite because of what I could and could not do. I don’t know if I could find anyone else that would care enough to help him. I couldn’t immediately change the system to make sure that the man had access to health care, either. It is similar to when I pass by homeless people on the street asking for money. I might have a dollar or so to give, but I cannot keep giving money to every homeless person I see. I wouldn’t even know where to start when it comes to alleviating their situation, or if they want it in the first place.  

Well, now is my time to try understanding the capacity to which I must learn and be patient. Change takes time, and so are the steps I must take to be in the capacity to fuel it. This is where I am at in the crossroad; I am not stopping at it nor am I turning in any direction just yet. I’m waiting, I’m inching my way closer, and I’ll make the turn one day.