Blog 4. Be Still

              To me, being busy is normal. I love having a full schedule and filling up my days doing things that I love with people that I love. Whether those days consist of going on wild adventures or just hanging out and watching movies, this is how I feel most whole. It’s a big part of who I am and the way I guide my life. Being in DC has been no different. There are constantly things to do and I feel as though I’ve only seen a fraction of what this beautiful place really has to offer. Being that our internship has just passed the halfway point (sad:( ) I decided that I wanted to really think and process all that we’ve been able to do. I’ve been using this app called ‘One Second Every Day’ and it allows you to take a one-second video every day to capture a special moment, something funny, a pretty view, or simply anything that made that day memorable. I’ve been using this app for months now, but it's been special to have here in DC because I know my days here are limited. Seeing all that we’ve done and experienced is truly amazing. Every day I’ve gotten to see something new or learn something more. Sometimes we've had such busy days that I forget the things that we did earlier that day. It's so beautiful to be in the center of so much action, but sometimes taking it all in at once can be hard, especially when I’m constantly in a busy state of mind. 

I read a poem the other day by Jessie Gianna that really spoke to me in my moment in life now. She writes, 

“we spend our whole lives wishing we were in another season of life.

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when we are little, we can’t wait to grow up.

when we are in school, we can’t wait to be done.

then we can’t wait to move out,

can’t wait to get married,

can’t wait to have kiddos.

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and then we do all of that and we continually wish seasons away- in hopes that what is coming will be far better than what we have now.

and it breeds discontentment, and it familiarizes false pretenses. 

and it steals every ounce of the present-

the perfectly orchestrated here and now.

_

….

so where’s the beauty now?

exhale the restlessness. 

be here. be still.”

              There’s so much beauty in her words but also so much truth and wisdom. After reading this I felt as though I had to take a step back, breath and be still. I let the memories sink in and I was reminded of why I’m here in the first place; God. It’s so clear that God has me here for a purpose and I don't want to miss any of those moments trying to chase the next one. I’m learning to find the moments to be still in this busy season of life and hopefully, in the stillness, I can feel God even closer than before. I still plan to visit as many monuments and museums as possible and I still will never turn down an opportunity to be with my community but in the same sense, I want to cherish these chances as much as possible. Psalm 46:10 writes, “Be still and know that I am God”. My parents always hung a plaque in our home that had this verse and I remember reading it all the time as I was rushing to school or anxiously studying for an exam. In those rushed moments it was like a whisper from God trying to show me that he is in control. I felt that same voice this past week. As much as I want to orchestrate these perfect moments, my best efforts will never even come close to what perfection God is capable of. So now I choose to exhale the restlessness, be here, and be still.

Mariam 
7.7.19
Blog 4