brigitte - post #5, 7.17.22: oh, that I were a bird pt. 1

 Connections are really all that we have. I think this is what I've been missing; I've been able to recognize the importance of relationships but struggle when it comes to forming them. Talking to people is hard. Being a total introvert doesn't help. Something I recently realized is that social interaction doesn't drain me of energy like I thought it did; I think a good amount of it gives me life. Either that or my extended periods of isolation make any social interaction I get seem really great, similarly to how anything tastes good when one is hungry. I prefer the former, though, I suppose it doesn't really matter--social interactions give me life (even the awkward moments!). Relationships seem pretty important to God too; I had a conversation with Rev. Katie a few weeks ago, and it was prompted by my question about the triune God. I forget the specifics, but the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are a delineation of a loving relationship; this emphasizes the significance of relationship and connection when it comes to seeking God I guess? We find God in the connections.

Friday's session was probably one of my favorites. EYA program alumna Nica Sy presented during this session and shared this quote with us: "The masses and the masses alone are the makers of history." Pretty cool, right? I was so glad that she brought up neoliberalism and the role it plays in deterring collective action; the manner in which it praises and incentivizes individualism is a barrier to effective community organizing and activism in general. We can't accomplish anything on a societal scale in isolation; collective action is how things get done. Systemic change can't happen unless the communities directly facing the problems are key players in finding and implementing solutions. There is still so much I don't know about community organizing but I finally feel passionate about something: access to sustainable transportation. I'm grateful that my supervisor suggested clean transportation as a topic at the start of my internship. I'm just about finished with an op-ed on zero-emission vehicles, and I'm currently working on a blog post about public transit. I really need to find a public transportation advocacy group to join; Nica's message about being in community really hit me. I also decided to attend a campus ministry book study later that afternoon. I'd been to tired to go the past several weeks, but I'm glad I mustered up the energy to go. I really needed that in-person social interaction. I wanted to share a few bible verses that I particularly liked from that study:

    "My heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death have fallen upon me...And I say, 'O that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; truly, I would flee far away'" (Psalm 55:4-7). Birds are great, and I've wished that I was a bird on many an occasion.

    "he has made me desolate; he bent his bow and set me as a mark for his arrow. He shot into my vitals the arrow of his quiver...He has made my teeth grind on gravel, and made me cower in ashes; my soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is...But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end...'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.'" (Lamentations 3:13-24). This lament is beautiful. 

My pastor delivered a sermon on a passage from Luke 10 today. The scene is this: Jesus is teaching at Martha's house, and her sister Mary is sitting at Jesus' feet with all of the other disciples listening. I love Jesus' response to Martha after she asks him to get her sister Mary to help her with serving the house guests: "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken from her" (Luke 10:41). If only I could be a student forever. I often feel as if my affinity for subjects relating to the humanities makes me kind of useless in the practical sense, and our society definitely pushes that notion. It's nice to see that God most likely doesn't believe that uselessness idea to be true.

I'm really grateful for the virtual community the EYA program has provided me with this summer. I feel less blob-like. A little more bird-like. 

very cool song/mood: "Wish" by Cloudnone

-brigitte